Growing up, I believed that getting into heaven depended on one thing—whether my good deeds outweighed my bad. By the time I reached my teenage years, I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I figured if I was already disqualified, I might as well forget about God and enjoy being bad. Maybe, just maybe, He’d make an exception and let me sneak into heaven despite my failures.

Then, on the night of December 18, 1965, everything changed. My friend Bruce told me something I had never truly heard before: Jesus didn’t come to make bad people good—He came to bring dead people to life. He died on the cross for me, and if I would trust Him, He would forgive me, give me a new life, and never leave me—no matter what. That night, at seventeen years old, I believed in Jesus.

I was born again. At first, I assumed that what God wanted most from me was purity and service. Purity meant no more getting drunk, no more sex until marriage. Service meant witnessing to unbelievers.

I threw myself into it, believing I was doing a pretty good job—staying mostly pure, sharing the gospel, and measuring my success in my ability to follow the rules. What I didn’t realize was that I had become spiritually proud. I felt superior to most other believers, convinced that my dedication somehow made me more pleasing to God.

Then, after years of reading John 15:15, it finally hit me. Jesus told His disciples: “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends…” I had spent years trying to serve God like a worker striving to earn his approval, but Jesus wanted something more than obedience—He wanted friendship. Servants obey because they have to. Friends serve because they love.

This changed everything. I began praying a new prayer every morning: “Father, let me love Jesus like You love Him.” I prayed it for years, not realizing that the key to loving Jesus deeply was first experiencing God’s love for me. So my prayer shifted. The first thing I asked for every morning became: “Father, let me feel Your affection today.”